Monday, July 13, 2009

Missing in Inaction

Much to Rylie's delight, I was spirited away to the Detroit area back in Detroit. He had a relaxing month without being pestered for affection. Meanwhile, I was downstate helping out my aunt, who managed to break her ankle in three places because she is an absolute show-off. Apparently the family curse has something to do with women breaking ankles, because I fractured my tibia at my ankle two years ago and my mother broke her ankle in one place 15 years ago.

While I was with my aunt, I had the opportunity to harass Rylie's cousin. "Ginger Balls" or "Ginger" were the preferred names for him. My aunt persisted in pointing out that he had been neutered, but was less than thrilled when I altered the first nickname to "Ginger Ball-less."

In the months since coming home, I've just been lazy. Rylie has finally nipped and kneaded his way into getting an update out of me. In that sense, Rylie is like the Mafia. Jimmy Hoffa is probably buried on the farm Rylie was abducted from. I suspect I'll find a cat-sized fedora hidden under my bed along side a cat-sized tommy gun. He's probably distilling catnip gin under the bathroom counter. Honestly, I would be kind of okay with that, because I'm a sucker for the roaring twenties. My only real concern entails the discovery of my most cherished toy from child hood, my stuffed rabbit, Bugs', severed head being found between my sheets.